I can't believe that six weeks has passed since I delivered Virginia in to this world. Right now the emotions seem to be hitting pretty hard (probably does not help that I am over tired).
Last night as Tim and I were talking we said that we only had 13 days with the baby before she passed away. We were given the terminal diagnosis on April 8th and on April 21st it was confirmed that she had no heartbeat (I will say that is a picture that will be forever imprinted on my mind. The first u/s in the dr's office with Josiah crying in the background and the dr. saying that there was no heartbeat and the baby's face looking at me. Then the next one at the hospital again by myself because they wouldn't let Tim in there with me. It is awful to see your baby on an ultrasound and know that she is not alive). It seemed that there was so much time in between the diagnosis and her death but really it was only 13 days. We had 13 days to grieve and make the plans for her. We had 13 days to feel her little kicks and movements. At the time it seemed like it was forever but looking back it was such a short time. I would give anything to feel her kicking inside of me again.
5 years ago