Saturday, May 8, 2010

The story of Virginia

This was read at Virginia's memorial service:

We wanted to tell you all a little more about Virginia Rae. We found out that we were pregnant with her on December 23rd and knew that this was the best Christmas gift for us. We had been trying for a year to get pregnant and were so excited that Josiah was going to be a big brother.

The pregnancy was pretty uneventful except for the fact that I was a little bit more sick than I was with Josiah and more tired. We continued to pray for this little one as she grew inside of me.

On April 3rd we had our 18 week ultrasound and our biggest concern was that we could not find out the gender. Just a few days later we were in a fight for her life. We know too that Virginia was fighting because most babies with these diagnoses pass away much earlier in the pregnancy. We sought help from geneticists, obstetricians, hospice workers, friends, family, etc. We wanted those in the medical field to value the life of the baby regardless of her diagnoses. We wanted to see ultrasound pictures of her and know everything about her. On the ultrasound we saw of her alive she had her hand by her mouth just like Josiah.

Tim and I celebrated around this time that he was also able to feel the movement of Virginia. What a miracle it was to feel the baby moving and share that with Tim. It was also at this time that we finally decided on a name. We wanted her to be named after a woman who followed after God in every aspect of her life. We decided to name her Virginia after her great grandma Ida Virginia . We prayed that our Virginia would also be used by God to witness to other people whether through her life or her death.

On April 21st I felt a little bit different and called the doctors office. I went in for a heartbeat check and they were unable to find one either on the doppler or through the ultrasound. What a heartbreaking feeling it was for me to see my baby on the screen and know that the baby is no longer alive. We were so sad that our time with our baby here on earth had ended but knew that she was perfect in heaven and for that we were grateful. Our first induction was not successful and we were so disappointed. We did not like the next procedure that was to be done on the baby but were given no other choices.

Thankfully God provided an answer to our prayers through a wonderful Christian obstetrician, Dr. N. He came alongside of us in our darkest hours and provided Christ’s love to us when we were so broken emotionally and physically. He offered to give us a second chance on the induction. After much prayer we decided to have another induction that was scheduled for May 3rd. The day started a little slow but started to pick up at about 4:30 pm. The next couple of hours went by rather quickly as we were preparing to meet our baby. We gave birth to our baby, Virginia Rae at 9:13 pm. She weighed in at 8 ounces and 6 inches long. We are so thankful that we were able to deliver her naturally. We were honored that Jeff could baptize her surrounded by our family. We were also thankful that our family members were able to come and meet her here on earth. We enjoyed spending time holding her and talking to her on Monday night and Tuesday morning.

Even though our prayers were not answered in terms of Virginia being restored to health here on earth we know that she has been restored to perfect health in heaven. We also know that God provided such an answer to our prayers in Dr. N. and his associates and the staff at E. Hospital. God allowed him to come in to our lives when we were at our lowest point and he was able to foster an amazing birth experience.

We were lovingly embraced by so many people who have unfortunately been on a similar road as ours. We are so thankful to those of you who have come alongside of us and shared your suffering with us and helped us along our journey. It is our prayer that no one else will have to walk a similar road but we will be here for anyone that needs us on this road of loss.

We don’t know why God allowed Virginia to have so much fluid throughout her body. We know that Virginia’s life has a purpose and that it is the responsibility of Tim and I to ensure that she is not forgotten. Even though she was only alive for twenty-one weeks we loved her from the minute we knew that she was inside of me. We were so eager to be pregnant again and were looking forward to seeing Josiah playing with his sister. We thought about this baby so much over the 21 weeks of her life and prayed for her so much. We can’t wait to get to heaven and see her again.


  1. It hurts me to read this post, for I feel your pain. It took us 26 months, countless IUI, and one round of IVF that took all of our coverage to get pregnant. We got one egg, the golden egg, Wyatt. And we lost him. We are back to square one, but we have an angel now.

    I hope that your little angel, Virginia, will provide you with another little blessing.

    Much love, Megan

  2. Reading the story of Wyatt brought so many emotions for me--especially since it took you so long to get pregnant and everything seemed to be going so well with the pregnancy.

    I had never heard of hydrops before she was diagnosed with it and it is a word that I've heard way too often since then. What made Virginia's birth even harder was that even when she was born we did not know the gender--due to the fluid.

    I read your post about the lack of a birth certificate and it's so frustrating (I'm friends with Michelle). Virginia's death certificate doesn't list her name or gender :(

    I'm not sure if you read in the blog but we found out that we were pregnant 2 months after she was born and then had a miscarriage in August.

    I hope that all of us can have a healthy baby soon!